Nearly every expert on psychopathy advises former victims, if at all possible, to break all contact with the psychopath. What does NO CONTACT mean? It means:
1. NO DIRECT, or active, communication with the psychopath: be it in the form of emails, letters, phone calls, texting, Facebook posts, or seeing him in person.
2. It also means NO INDIRECT, or passive, communication either: don’t read his emails, don’t look at his Facebook, don’t read his texts, don’t seek or listen to information about him through any intermediaries, don’t google him to find out what he’s up to lately.
Why go NO CONTACT? There are plenty of great reasons for that. Here are some of them:
1. Any contact with a psychopath can make you prone to his manipulation and control over you.
2. Any contact with a psychopath can put your well-being, and even safety, in danger.
3. Any contact with a psychopath will keep the wounds from the relationship raw and the pain still fresh and intense.
4. Any contact with a psychopath will keep you obsessing about him and your past together.
5. Any contact with a psychopath will introduce doubts in your mind, so that you’re second-guessing yourself and your past behavior.
6. Any contact with a psychopath will, therefore, entrap you in a dangerous relationship with a fundamentally bad human being.
The difference between taking three months or three years to heal from the psychopathic bond–and, sometimes, the difference between life and death–depends in large part upon implementing this NO CONTACT rule. The only way to heal from the harm inflicted by the psychopath is to go NO CONTACT with him or her for life: particularly if you don’t share custody of kids or have any legal reason to see, hear or read about that toxic person ever again.
Claudia Moscovici, psychopathyawareness
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